I Excel In Both Content And Deliverance//Days 21-23

Washing cars sucks. But at least it gave me something to do that was out of the ordinary for me, since these days, my life consists of sleeping, being online, reading, writing, and repeat, with little variation. As lazy as I may be a majority of the time, this is also hella boring. But with no money, there isn't much else I can do. However, this weekend is chock-full of babysitting my nephews, so that'll most likely be insane.

Also, like with most things, I figured out a pretty cool and different (and not super slut-tastic) Halloween costume...the day before Halloween. But if I manage to remember for next year (when I will also hopefully have money), it'll be awesome! It would end up costing about $50 including the wig (not counting shoes, but at least I can use those for other non-Halloweeny type things). But at least I won't be another slutty bumblebee or slutty cop or slutty slut. Plus, it is the kind of costume that even if I don't lose much more weight (as long as I don't gain any more), it'll still be great.

So at least there is always next year...

*Post title from "Let's Push Things Forward" by The Streets (See, Brits CAN rap)



DAY 21

My dog Coco always makes me happy!


DAY 22
I think my overly analytical nature makes me pretty different from everyone else. I'm sure my dry, sarcastic sense of humor helps too


DAY 23
Something I crave for a lot (awesome grammar, whoever came up with this challenge)= money, a job, sweet cream ice cream, the new Harry Potter movie, and a cool trip somewhere (maybe to the Harry Potter world!)


Only a week left of the challenge. Crazy.

Too Too Much//Days 19 & 20

I had planned on writing about allowing oneself to dream about the "What if's" in life, and how different one's life could be from it (and the advantages and disadvantages to doing so as a creative outlet), but I decided to shift gears and talk about an article that is receiving tons of national attention right now. Maura Kelly wrote an article for Marie Claire titled "Should Fatties Get A Room? Even On TV?" about the new CBS show Mike & Molly, dealing with 2 overweight people that find love after meeting at an Over-Eater's Anonymous meeting. I actually read a few counter-pieces BEFORE reading Kelly's original article, so I was already quite angry and inflamed before heading over to Marie Claire's site.

I still think the title is terrible (I liked the title that shows up on the browser better "Overweight Couples on TV: Do Fat Characters on TV Offend Viewers?" more and think it fits the article better). But Kelly is nowhere near the monster she is portrayed by others. I think sometimes she definitely heads into murky waters, but sometimes it does appear that political correctness= no one can actually speak their minds.

Face it. Obesity IS unhealthy. Obesity DOES cost tons and tons of money- in healthcare, in insurance, in therapy, as well as the more obvious clothes and food and other essentials. I don't think I agree with Kelly's assertion that obesity is something people have "tons and tons of control over" (there are health problems that can cause uncontrolled weight gain- thyroid issues, Cushings, and any disease that requires steroids as a treatment), but it is true- in the end, the power to change lies within each one of us. Much like with alcoholics and drug addicts, you have to WANT to change and better yourself- and a food addiction is the same.

Yes, we should embrace all kinds of people- regardless of weight, age, sex, religion, race, etc etc etc. But then there is the unhealthy. There is a difference between being overweight and being morbidly obese. A (pardon the pun) big difference. Perhaps if Kelly had discussed more tips on healthy eating or getting help for obesity rather than discussing the "displeasing aesthetics" of seeing overweight people be intimate, she wouldn't be criticized as much. Honestly, I don't really like seeing ANYONE be excessively intimate. As liberal as I may be, I still believe some things should be kept behind closed doors, and I am definitely NOT a fan of PDA.

Mind you, I loved the show Too Fat for 15: Fighting Back on the Style Network, and I cheered for the kids when they lost weight and hoped they'd be able to keep the weight off and continue down a healthy path for the rest of their lives. But was I grossed out sometimes? Yes. Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. You are supposed to be scared for them, worry about their health, and hope that you never reach a point in your life when you have to lose 150-200 lbs to be able to walk up a moderate hill. You aren't supposed to strive to weigh over 400 lbs, but that doesn't mean you are supposed to strive to weigh 100 either. Kelly posted an apology to her article and went into her own personal life, stating that perhaps her battle with anorexia has left her with distorted ideals of body image. I am sure it has. While anorexia would be the polar opposite of morbid obesity, they are still both food addictions.

This whole hoopla made me think back to my college Italian classes. In Italy, as well as most of Europe (and the world), there isn't this squeamishness with being "politically correct". Our professor told us that if you were in Italy and you are overweight, they'd describe you as fat. They don't have terms for "overweight" or "obese" or "hefty" or anything like that- just fat. If you're short, you are short, not fun-sized. They call it like they see it. And they aren't being offensive. Just honest. While an American might be upset if they were described in this way, Europeans are fine with it. In fact, I remember reading an article from a Florentine newspaper about Americans extreme sensitivity, something that baffled the Italians. They, too, battle with obesity, eating disorders, and the same issues that we face, and I have no statistics as to depression or anxiety rates or anything over there, but it seems to be working out ok for them.


I don't disagree with all political correctness, but sometimes it is just used as a crutch. If you call someone fat, overweight or obese, it all means the same thing, and we also shouldn't be creating a culture where EVERY SINGLE WORD needs to be heavily analyzed before being written or spoken. I saw some comments to Kelly's article saying (in essence) "If you think her article is ok, what about if she had changed the word "fat" and had used a racial term or sexual orientation based term instead?" I'm sure people would still be freaking out, but at the end of the day, being gay or straight (unless you are having unprotected sex), or being white or black or Asian or Hispanic, or being Jewish or Muslim or Christian or Mormon, won't effect your health. But being overweight can kill you. DIRECTLY kill you.

But perhaps I'm just being insensitive too.



DAY 19
I don't really have too many nicknames (Aileen doesn't lend itself out to too many), but my friend Amos calls me "Swede" because of my love of all things Sweden (Ikea, The Hives, Alexander Skarsgard, lingonberries, excessive coffee drinking). An ex of mine (with a gloriousssss British accent) calls me "Lee". I tried to get everyone to call me that, but it never caught on, unfortunately


DAY 20
I don't really have a specific person in mind that I see myself marrying. I do tend to like the somewhat "nerdy" guys...in that I life smart guys with a dry sense of humor and as much random knowledge as I have. He would definitely need to be able to make me laugh and make me not take everything so seriously. I don't really need someone to like everything I like, but at least know about it so we can actually talk. Because I LOVE to talk.

As for celebrities I'd enjoy marrying= Jake Gyllenhaal, Leo DiCaprio, Pelle Almqvist (of The Hives), Chris Evans, and probably others but I'm lazy.

She's On The Dark Side//Day 18

Mep. I slept until a disturbingly late time today and have spent all my awake time applying to jobs. Sometimes I wish I could turn in surveys like these as my application- at least it is something different for them to read. But in happy news, I will be getting my eyebrows done tomorrow and that always makes me feel good! Nothing like a perfectly arched eyebrow to give you a little extra pep in your step

*Post title from Massive Attack's "Angel," a song that reminds me how bummed I am that I don't have $150 just laying around to go see the Swedish House Mafia this weekend :/


-Have you ever made out on your bed? Yes
-Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? Sure, a majority of the time.
-Do you have a bestfriend? Yes
-Where was your default taken? My room
-Who was the last person on your bed besides yourself? My mom, I think
-What side of a heart do you draw first? Left
-When was the last time you got a back massage? I'm not a big fan of massages
-Are you good at hiding your feelings? Depends, but usually my anger comes out big time
-Do you like to cuddle? On my own terms. I don't really like to feel too restricted
-Who was the last conversation you had on the phone with? Aunt
-Are you afraid of roller coasters? No I love them
-How is life going for you right now? It's going
-Do you believe what comes around goes around? I surely hope karma is real because I know a few people that deserve for it to smack them in the face
-Do you give out second chances easily? Not as easily anymore
-What color are your eyes? Brown
-Does the person you like know that you like them? Yup
-Do you know what you are going to name your future kids? Eh no. I have names that I like and stuff but...no.
-Have you ever cried from being so mad? Yes
-Do you have any enemies? Of course
-Miss someone? Yeah, friends that live way too far away
-Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes, but they were probably lying lol
-What makes you laugh? Funny junk
-How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Pfffft too many to remember
-Will you kiss that person again? Yeah, probably
-What are you listenin to? Cee-Lo Green "F@#! You"
-Do you like Chinese food? Loooove it
-Did anyone see your last kiss? Hmmm no
-Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? The real question is why not? lol
-Have you ever worn the opposite sex's underwear? Uh...no.
-What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Sleeping. Or moving from my room to my sister's room for maximum cold room-age
-Did you have a good day today? Well it hasn't been bad
-Do you say sexy a lot? No, not really
-What was the last thing you bought? Applebee's for me and the mom
-Are you over the age of 25? No
-Are you typically a jealous person? I'm pretty un-jealous
-Tell us about your latest ex? He's an ex, therefore, not in my life or on my mind anymore.
-How tall is the last person you hugged? Hmmmmmmm, I'd say like 5'7?
-Speaking of hugs, who is the best hugger you know? I don't think anyone is bad at hugging per se, it's just about why you need the hug at the moment
-What color is your underwear? Pink and purple
-What is something you wish you had more of? MONEY
-Do you like poetry? Yes, but crazy old poetry that no one in their right mind should like ;)
-If your last ex said they were in love with you, what would you say? Hilarious.
-Has anyone ever said they would die for you? Yes
-Do you always answer your phone? Usually
-Who were the last four people to send you a message on Facebook? If by message, you mean comment, then it'd be Jo, Vikki, Cindy, and Aralyn
-Do you like thunderstorms? No, they are loud and usually mean my power will go out
-Do you like the rain? Nope
-Have you ever been into drugs? Never
-What is your current mood? Good
-Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with an E, L, or C? These questions are always so stupid. And yes, E. And C...I think?
-What time do you normally go to sleep every day? Unfortunately, between 3-5 AM >,<
-Last shirt you wore? I'm currently wearing the only thing my ex was good for, and that is comfy tshirts. It's a grey MX shirt
-Name one thing that grosses you out? Brains.
-Have you ever cheated on a significant other? Never, don't see the point in cheating.



DAY 18
For goals, I'd like to definitely get a Master's degree, and maybe even a PhD depending on what I study.

For plans, they involve going back to school, getting a job, saving up money to buy a new car, and losing weight (20-30 lbs).

For dreams, I'd like to have a job I enjoy- it doesn't have to be a superawesomecrazy dream job, but just something I can feel proud to do and happy to go to every day. I'd like to eventually get married and have a family. Oh, and have a pool. I would like a pool.

ABCs of Me

I told you guys I love surveys about myself...

And since it is now past 2 AM and I have unfortunately caught a second wind (this ALWAYS happens...you think I would know by now that I just have to go to sleep as soon as I start feeling sleepy or I'll screw myself over again!)



A - Age: 23
B - Bed size: Full
C - Choose what you hate: Intolerance, Bullshit, People that chew really loudly
D -Dogs name: Coco
E - Essentials to start your day: Brushing my teeth. It's ridiculous how much that energizes me
F - Favorite color: Purple
G - Gold or Silver: Gold
H - Height: 5'4
I - I've come to learn: That happiness is most definitely something you can choose for yourself
I- Instruments you play/played: Pffft, I can't even say I played the recorder
J - Job: >,< Really? lol
K - Kids: If this is in regards to whether I have them or not, then no. In the future, sure. Like 2 maybe
L- Living: Yes, I'm alive. D'uh. In Miami. In a house.
M - Mom's Name: Berta
N - Nicknames: Lee, Swede, nothing else because I'm not cool
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: It's basically like my life.
P - Pet Peeve: People that sit obscenely close to you for no reason
Q - Quote from a movie:
Chris: "Suck my fat one"? Whoever told you that you had a fat one, Lachance?
Gordie: Biggest one in four counties. (I <3 <3 <3 Stand By Me!)
R - Right or left handed: Right. Like all the cool kids
S - Siblings: Little sis Monica, Older sis Idania
T - Time you wake up: These days, if I'm up before noon it is some sort of miracle
U - Underwear - Yes. I wear them. Currently wearing pink and royal blue striped boyshorts
V - Vegetable you dislike: Cauliflower. Disgusting.
W - Ways you run late: I'm never late.
X - X-rays you've had: Only about a trillion
Y - Yummy food you make: Red Velvet
Z - Zoo favorite: Rhinos!

It's All About The Wordplay//Day 17

Today was my aunt's birthday, so there was a little get-together at my grandparents' house, which is always nice. Besides CAKE, I got to eat some bomb ass chicharrones (fried pork rinds) and as a Cuban, we are alllll over that. My grandma makes some killer ones, but these that we bought at one of our fave Cuban restaurants were good too. And they are NOTHING like those they sell in stupid bags at the grocery store. Everyone must try these!

Speaking of delicious Hispanic foods, I am literally counting down the days until Amos comes back from Utah for Christmas so we can head to Los Perros, a Colombian hot dog restaurant. This is probably THE best drunk dive, and a party in itself. It looks like a little hole-in-the-wall place, but there is always great house music playing and it has a glow-in-the-dark bathroom! We went there a bunch of times to watch the World Cup matches, and we would all literally just sit there screaming in Spanish at the TV. Plus, maybe some day I will buck up and actually try quail eggs!

As much as I might complain about living at home or the usual annoyance of living here, Miami is really a wonderful, vibrant city. It sucks that I don't have money right now because I did grow to appreciate my hometown when I had money to actually go places and do things. I actually felt like a "real" adult (whatever that means). Plus, it was tons of fun being single because I could really go anywhere at the drop of a hat...could have brunch if someone called up, could have drinks or go dancing, meet a friend for shopping, check out a play, anything. Something I felt I couldn't do in Texas. That might have been because I didn't really have many friends over there, and the great ones I did I temporarily lost when I was with Ex Effect, but I probably could've had that life over there too since that is basically what Chey and I did when I went to visit and before Ex basically (and unfortunately) took over. Meh, to better days, right?

I am currently filling out an insanely long job profile on a Florida job board, and I guess I had to do something mildly entertaining before I gave up and watched TV or read. And apparently, blogging is now my "fun" activity! I can't remember whether or not I've discussed it or not, but I have an interview at JCPenney on Wednesday for administrative work in the offices. I'm not too thrilled about it, but it is a job and money, so I guess it is something. I should also hear about about the UM Medical School job sometime this week since he will be starting in his new position Nov 1 or 2. I don't even know what to hope for at this point; I'm just in a blah work search state now.

In other news, my knees have been hurting recently. Probably because Miami has decided to go to a moderately hot weather instead of intense death heat (it is attempting to be in the mid-to-upper 70s and 80s here, finally) and because I am fat. Not super fat, but not happy with my body either. I have decided I'm going to try to lose (at least) 10 lbs before the end of the year (as a start). That's about 2 months...so I think I can do it? If I can manage that, then I would like to lose about 15 more by Memorial Day/beginning of summer (as if it isn't always summer here).

I am hopeful.

But I'll probably have to stop eating chicharrones...

*Post title from Jason Mraz's "Wordplay" (I am having a Jason Mraz phase right now, and this song is one of my faves! I just love his voice...so smooth)



DAY 17
I don't think I'd really like to switch lives with anyone else. I'm pretty happy with my life, so if anything, I'd like to switch lives with the me from the future...like 10-15 years down the road.

But if I'm going to be a bit selfish, I'd probably try to switch lives with whoever Chris Evans is dating right now. Or maybe Giselle so I could get Tom Brady to cut his stupid hair. Among other things I'd do to him...;)

I'll Level Accusations Like The Press//Day 16

Today has been a pretty chill day. I went to Applebee's with my mom and we had lots of girl talk and gossiping, which is always nice. I tried on an obscene amount of boots and may be getting either a baller knee-high flat riding boot or cute booties next week or so. As for actual shopping things, I bought contact solution and gum. Yes, I live life on the edge.

Tomorrow is my aunt's birthday, so I figure some sort of dinner type thing will happen. As for the rest of today, it'll be some reading, perhaps some napping, and then some comedy watching later on. May be hitting up an employment agency on Monday, but not sure yet. And then in about 2 weeks will begin the printing/mailing of grad school application process.

And now, for a minor lady gripe. I HATE when you plateau after a weight loss! That point where you just stay at the same weight even if you continue doing eating healthy and exercising all the time. I guess I should be happy that I'm staying at about the same weight (within about 2 lbs in either direction) and that I've managed to lose 20ish lbs, but I still want to lose AT LEAST another 10 (and at most maybe 20ish). And with the holidays coming up, it is not looking good. Unless I start working and then eating will take on a more regular schedule again. Oy vey.

*Post title from "Men's Needs" by The Cribs



DAY 16
I figured I'd add two pictures of myself. A relatively recent (good) one (from my birthday...so about 2.5 months ago) and one I just took a few minutes ago. I look pretty crappy in the new one since my hair is kind of crazy and my makeup has worn away and I'm kinda sleepy, but I wanted to add that glowy effect to it.

Bursting At The 3's

One thing most people know about me, is that I LOVE answering questions about myself (hence my love of filling out surveys and questionnaires). I found this one on Facebook, and naturally decided to drag it across the interwebz


Three names I go by:
1. Aileen
2. Valdes (only a few people but still)
3. Swede


Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. US Census (great pay, mehhh people)
2. Customer service (liked coworkers, HATED job)
3. Clerical at Law School (not bad)


Three Places I have lived:
1. Miami
2. NYC
3. Houston


Three Favorite drinks:
1. Water
2. RedBull Lite
3. Grey Goose


Three TV Shows that I watch:
1. House
2. The Jersey Shore (DON'T JUDGE ME)
3. Sister Wives (yeah...and?!)


Three places I have been:
1. Montreal
2. Jamaica
3. Cancun


Three places I am looking forward to go:
1. Salt Lake City
2. NYC (again)
3. Rome


People that I sms/sms me regularly:
1. Amos
2. Wendy
3. Max


Three of my favorite foods:
1. Baked Potatoes
2. Filet Mignon (Yes, I am fancy, huh)
3. RED VELVET


Three things I am looking forward to:
1. Having a job
2. Going to grad school
3. Christmas in NYC


Three things that are always by your side:
1. BlackBerry
2. Water bottle
3. Nose spray


Three things I always look forward to during weekends:
1. Shopping
2. Drinking
3. Hot tubbing at Max's


Three things I always do every morning:
1. Check (in order): Texts, Emails (Comcast/Yahoo/BlackBerry), Facebook, Twitter
2. Eat a banana (girl needs her potassium)
3. Jog however long I can manage (anywhere from 3-10 mile)

She'll Carry On Through It All//Day 15

I guess it is just becoming a habit to blog at unfathomable hours of the night. It will be a quiet weekend, since my sister is off to the Keys, but tomorrow a bit of shopping will be done and I may even get something (for what seems like the first time in like 4 months). I'm still feeling kind of ehh because if my plans had worked out, I'd probably be gallivanting around Salt Lake City with one of my bff's for his birthday right now, and that sounds A LOT more fun than sitting at home, blogging and watching Comedy Central (although it is the Chapelle Show...). But, on the flip side, at least I won't be spending hundreds of dollars (that I don't have). I guess you win some, you lose some. If it all works out, I may be able to visit around February; if not, possibly next October. But it's ok because I will see my friend in 2 months regardless and go scouring around the Everglades for chimichurri sandwiches and avoid getting arrested by the Seminole or Immokalee police.

In other news, some convincing may have to be done, but if the money can be rounded up, it is possible that me and the little will be going to the Usher (along with Trey Songz) concert on New Years Eve! Very cool way to bring in the new year (and sooooo much better than my last new year's), non?

*Post title from The Stone Roses' "Waterfall" (Very uplifting and empowering kind of song)


DAY 15
It's pretty bizarre that I am already halfway through with this challenge. And that I've blogged as much as I have! This is, easily, the most successful blog I've ever had.

Ok, so the first 10 songs that show up on iPod Shuffle (in actuality, it is iTunes DJ, but same diff):

1. Neighbors Know My Name= Trey Songz
2. Love Story= Taylor Swift
3. Right Round= Flo Rida
4. Eve, The Apple Of My Eye= Bell X1
5. Turn The Page= Metallica
6. Spiderwebs= No Doubt
7. Bat Country= Avenged Sevenfold
8. Still Take You Home= Arctic Monkeys <3 <3
9. Creep= TLC
10. Radar= Britney Spears

Haha, you tell me that's not one of the most eclectic mash-ups you've seen!

Hold On To Your Kite//Day 14

Yeah, it's totally normal to be writing a blog post at almost 2 AM. My inzombia (I wish I had come up with that) at this point is so normal I don't know what I'd do without it. I guess it works because I don't have a job, so I can just sleep in until whenever and then do all the things I have to do, so it's not so much insomnia as it is just staying up ridiculously late and being nocturnal. Today, however, I need to stay awake until 2 because it is one of my bff's birthday and since he lives in the freakin Mountain Time Zone (and I am in the ole Eastern), and I have some strange rule that I MUST celebrate people at midnight...here I am.

So in an effort to not buy the shitty Oregon Trail game I found in BlackBerry App World last night, I figured a bit o' blogging would do. I needed a break after my big dilemma last night (changing the design and whatnot), but today was a normal-ish day. Gave out some love and relationship advice (and I sounded super wise and not at all bitter), talked to some friends and had some laughs, and got a job interview for next week. It's nothing super special, but it is a job and money, and it's all I've got at the moment, so it'll do. Hopefully, that whole "when it rains, it pours" adage is true, and I get a ton of interviews soon, but that's ok. I did apply to two jobs at this baller company. It seems like so much fun to work there- the office is awesome, they use Macs, and they all seem like good friends outside of work that go out to bars and do fun stuff together. Just an all around relaxed working environment...one of those dream workplaces. So we shall see what happens with that one.

Today I found out some interesting things about some people I went to high school with. Nothing particularly revolutionary (or that we couldn't have guessed on our own), but...and this will sound terrible...it's nice to know that not everyone is at the tip top of the career ladder and just omgsoimpossiblyhappysmilessmilesshuttheEFFup. Not that I wish anyone harm or failure, but no one likes to feel like the lone loser in a group. It sucks that we are all struggling in some shape or form, but I guess that lends more credence to the theory that life is just kind of sucky right now, and it's not that WE are sucky.

Or I could just be a bitch. Altogether quite possible ;)

*Post title from "Naive" by The Kooks (I lovelovelove The Kooks!)


DAY 14
I tried to not go as crazy with the family pictures...


Me and my sister on my birthday


Parents + sis the night before I left for Texas last year


Parents on my [university] graduation day

Never Again...

...will I think that changing up my blog's look will be a quick and easy process. I attempted to make my own template, and that turned out disastrously. Mainly because I was in no mood to use PhotoShop or Gimp to customize my banner (I am very technologically lazy). Thankfully I found this cute template that I was able to change up a bit. But I will really think twice before I feel the need to change up the layout because it will always be an at least 2-hour long process.

Ok, whine over.

Safe Space Kits//Day 13

Another boring day. Applied to a billion jobs since I basically have lost all hope of being hired for the job I interviewed for. Tomorrow is the last day, and although I figure I will call on Friday just to see...ok well strike that. I called just now, and apparently they are STILL in the hiring process because they "aren't sure where they are going with that position yet". Uh....great. But since I cannot wait around on my laurels for that, I will continue to apply to other jobs, and send out my grad school applications as planned, especially now that there is no set date for that job. Awesome. This job search just gets shittier and shittier as time goes on.

But at least I am starting to get all my other financial matters in order, so that is something. But in non-whiney news, today I am showcasing another great charity! I really have no set time period for when I will post these, they kind of just fall into my lap, but I am very happy to be able to do so.

Today's charity, very apropos for National Spirit Day, is Safe Space Kits from GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Education Network). I learned about this organization while watching whatever the name of that new The View- like show on CBS today (don't laugh, I was eating lunch and there was NOTHING else on TV, and these ladies are way less annoying and stupid than the ones on the real View. Not that I will ever be watching it again). They discussed how they were all wearing purple today (me too!) to raise awareness for the recent wave of teen suicides due to bullying (while it has mainly been anti-gay bullying, I think it is important to stop ALL forms of bullying in our schools) and some guy that is on the show The Closer talked about the Safe Space Kits.

The kits, only $20 per school, comes with some stickers that you can put on the school doors, posters, and a guide book for educators about how they can be an ally to LGBT students and how to help stop bullying. Basically, once a school has a kit and teachers and staff willing to help, they will put up these stickers and posters, and kids that are being bullied or having a tough time know they can come to those teachers for advice, their only little "safe space".

Of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered students in school, nearly 9 out of every 10 stated that they had been verbally harassed at school, and over 40% said that they had been physically attacked. High school and teenage years are already a terrible enough time without adding the extreme amounts of bullying that kids are facing. I was bullied a bit in elementary school for being a "nerdy" type kid, but oddly enough, as I got older, that actually became a kind of cool thing. After all, the smart kids are the ones that others will turn to when they need help on schoolwork. Mine never got too bad, and I always had a pretty big and steady friend base, so I was lucky. Plus, just being a smart kid wasn't really enough of a reason for people to bully me to this degree.

What I like best about the kits is that it isn't asking anyone to change their beliefs or opinions. It's not saying that all of a sudden the school is completely "for" gay rights; the school is just saying that bullying, of any form, will NOT be tolerated because everyone deserves to have a safe, comfortable learning environment. And if that can happen for just $20? All the better.


DAY 13
I haven't really been hurt by anyone recently, so I decided to write a letter to someone who has hurt me a whole lot relatively recently (and I'm sure you all know who that is)

[ExEffect],

While sometimes I desperately wish I could hate you, the truth is I am quite grateful that you turned out to be a supreme douchebag. I cannot even begin to count the number of times I cried over you, while we were together and then we you decided I wasn't human enough to break up with in a proper fashion. I gave up EVERYTHING for you- my home, my friends, way more money than I care to remember, my education. I was willing to move to wherever the hell your dumb little heart desired, forsaking any plans or goals that I might have had for my life, for you. Texas? Done. Louisiana? I'm there. The freaking moon? Sure. I would've found any sort of job or studied anywhere for you.

At 22, I was willing to let you completely govern my life, something I have never let anyone (including my parents) do. I was an extension of you, slowly losing grips on my own individual identity. Perhaps you realized this time and the breakup was your way of letting me go and have my own life.

But you're too much of a self-centered asshole to think about anyone but yourself to have done that.

A REAL man would have had the guts to pick up the damn phone, the same one that I called and texted daily for A MONTH with no answer, and have uttered a 30-second breakup. If freaking Joe Jonas could do that, so could you. You could have texted a bunch of words, or responded to my email, anything. ANYTHING. But you chose to ignore it (for 7 months+ now). Much like the way you ignore ALL of the problems in your life until someone else takes charge to solve them for you.

You may be 24 years old, but you are nowhere near a man yet. Stop for a minute and take your head out of your ass and put the pipe down long enough to take a good, hard look at your life and where you're headed. You still have a chance to make it better. Not because I care, but because you should.

-Much Better Off

Skipping Beats, Blushing Cheeks//Days 10-12

Well, I figured I needed a few days off from blogging, so I have returned today. Still no word on the job, so I've started applying in stores and such- hopefully something pans out soon because my current routine is already starting to be quite a drag. I still have until Thursday for that job, but I figure if I haven't heard anything at all since then, well...then it's probably not happening. And I'm ok with that. Even a tad bit relieved. Money would be awesome, but I'm not sure I want to give up my education (or at least what I want to study) for it. Besides all that, nothing much is going on. Next week I will probably start printing out all of my grad school application materials and begin completing applications and sending things out in early November.

I'm quite bummed because tomorrow was supposed to be the day I left for my Utah trip (the trip that is no more), and it would've been very nice to get out of town and actually DO something for a change. But, hopefully I will be able to go sometime in February instead! But in news to make me happy, HARRY POTTER IS ONLY A MONTH AWAY!!!

*Post title from Imogen Heap's "Goodnight and Go"


DAY 10
I don't really have specific songs I listen to for those moods. I generally just listen to my hip-hop songs (mainly Lil Wayne, TPain and Drake) when I feel like dancing; I listen to peppy pop songs (like Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez and Katy Perry) when I feel like jumping up and down; I stick to my R&B songs (Mariah Carey is at the top of that list) when I feel like I need to cry, and then to get over all that suckiness, I listen to some of my fave songs by The Hives.


DAY 11
I haven't taken any new pictures with friends, so you can refer back to the billion pics I posted for Day 3 (October 10).


DAY 12
I don't really remember how I found out about Blogger, but I know that I've had about 100 blogs since I did. I think I made my first one about 5 or 6 (???) years ago, sometime after I graduated from high school and possibly after I finished my year at NYU. I like the idea of writing down my thoughts and feelings, and doing that in a regular ink journal gets to be very tedious. I get very excited, buy a new journal, and use it for about a week before I give it up (much like my blogs, actually). I figured since I am always on the computer anyway, this would be easier, but this is probably the only blog I have actually written more than a handful of posts for (granted, I've only written 37, but that is still big for me!).


Hmm...tomorrow's challenge will certainly be a doozy...

Made By Survivors//Day 9

I am in a MUCH better mood today (thank goodness- it was quite unbearable even for me!), though the #1 lady issue was the culprit behind it all. It is quite a relief to know I am not going insane at least. I was worried that I was relapsing into my post-breakup mild depression again, but I guess I just forgot to account for the usual shitty day that comes around every once in awhile. Today is a very chill day because EVERYONE is napping since we all stayed up late for no real reason (except for my sister who actually had one). Though we technically also did since our power went out at 2:10 AM and didn't come back til like 4 AM, meaning I didn't go to sleep until about 5. So in a bit I will do some reading and relaxing and such activities.

In a bit of a change-up, I am going to do daily challenge first, and then spotlight another charity organization I love to close out today's post.


DAY 9
Something I am proud of in the last few days...hmm, well I have been able to keep my excessive worrying down to normal levels while still continuing to work on myself. Oh! And I've managed to reconnect with a few friends, which is super great!


This is actually another organization I found through a magazine (either Glamour or Cosmo or maybe Marie Claire). The magazine showcased 31 different charities that you could donate money to in a friend or family member's name as an alternative Christmas gift. Made By Survivors really jumped out at me, because womens rights are at the top of my issues list. Made By Survivors is an international organization that fights human trafficking and modern slavery; they do preventative work by going to communities where sex trafficking occurs at higher levels and help create safe jobs. They also help reintegrate recently rescued survivors learn important skills that will help them make money, as well as donate time and money to shelters that actually undertake rescue operations.

I linked up to the store where you can buy beautiful handmade goods for really great prices. Many of the things are intricate and could easily be sold for triple the amount at most stores. However, for more information, you can go to the main site HERE and learn more about sex trafficking and what the organization (part of the larger Emancipation Network) does. While trafficking occurs mainly in the Middle East, Southeast Asia and the former Soviet republics, 18,000 victims are trafficked INTO the United States. MBS helps the women once they are ready to live independently (no one wants to live in a shelter forever) by educating them, both skill-wise and financially, helping them for the long-term.

Besides the handcrafted goods, you can donate money to the organization, host a home party or sponsor a survivor or child monthly. I bought my best friend a Ukrainian egg ornament the year I found out about the organization (just $10 and it was GORGEOUS); the best part is that all the gifts you buy come with a certificate describing how your money helps Made By Survivors and TEN. I wish I made a lot more money than I actually do because I would probably buy everyone a Christmas or birthday gift from here, but it really is a special organization. It is very heartening to know that whatever you buy has been made by a true survivor, and that purchase will help them never have to go back to that lifestyle ever again.

**Oh I forgot to say, if anyone was wondering, their bags are great! I have a French Market bag and my sister has a Thai embroidered bag and they are very spacious and sturdy (I always carry tons of crap everywhere I go). The jewelry, although a bit more expensive naturally, is gorgeous and unique- always a conversation piece (I have turquoise earrings, glass bead earrings, the logo bracelets, and a marbled necklace). I wish I had space for a rug in my room because the ones they have are beautiful, but alas, I do not.

A Scene That We've Seen Before//Day 8

Today is going to be a rant-y sort of day. I didn't get much sleep because I just could not fall asleep, plus I was feeling sickish and girlish (and I still am now as well). I am broke, and naturally, when you have no money is when you want to do the most things and when you get invitations from all over to do things. But I can't do any of them. So I have to just sit at home. My sister, cousin and her friend are getting ready for Homecoming tonight which is another bone of contention for me. It takes me back to my Homecomings and how much fun we all had, plus it's always nice to get all dolled up to dance with friends. Which is something I can't do now. But, I'm also quite upset that my parents actually agreed to let my sister stay at the rents that will go on later, something I would never be allowed to do. I wouldn't have even be allowed to go TO the rents for a little while- it was basically go to the dance and come right back home. In fact, it was quite the surprise when I got a 3 AM curfew Prom night, but that was probably only because my cousin was driving us around. If not, I'd probably have to be home directly after Prom ended. Lame.

I guess my parents learned with me what worked and what didn't, and my sister pushes the issue a lot more, but I know that even if I had pushed the issue, it wouldn't have gotten anywhere. Sometimes I wonder if that has affected my friend situation today. Granted, true friends shouldn't (and haven't) cared about stuff like that if they really care about you, but I'm sure it would've been better had we been able to hang out more and do more stuff together. Though at this stage of my life, I just don't really care about it, and if I have the money, I go out. A lot of that comes from my freedom of living in Texas and being able to do whatever I wanted and not really having to ask anyone for permission. So now it is more of a letting them know where I will be, but never really having any idea when I will get home.

As for those complaints, I'm just annoyed that there is a lot of noise in the house which does not allow me to nap, read or concentrate. Maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety...

**Post title from Amber Pacific's "Falling Away"


DAY 8
Goals for the month:

1. Find a job.
2. SAVE MONEY
3. Manage to pay back the money I owe and my application fees
4. Start mailing out applications
5. Lose weight (I won't even give a number, but anything would be nice)

I Won't Try To Philosophize//Day 6 & 7

Sorry for the no post yesterday (even after I promised). I was positively glued to my TV screen watching the Chilean miner rescue. I cried, and cried some more, and my heart hurt, but I was very happy they were rescued. I generally watched it on Spanish news channels, mainly because it was annoying to hear the English translation over them talking when I could already understand them. It was quite nice how the Hispanic community was behind them as well, since usually Hispanics can be quite regional and nationalistic and have fractious relationships with other countries. But I guess, at the end of the day, we are all Hispanics and will rally behind each other when someone needs help.

I really couldn't believe how well all of them looked upon getting back to the surface. I know they all have training for this kind of thing, and they have a completely different outlook on life just because of the social and cultural situation they are in. I know that my family in Cuba, for instance, can deal MUCH better with problems of this sort than I ever could. I guess a lot of it has to do with reliance on technology and just kind of being spoiled in a country where everything is at your fingertips at any time. Maybe if I grew up in Cuba, Chile, or other countries like that, I'd be fine with it, just because I wouldn't know any different. But to adapt now? I never would be able to. If I were trapped in that mind, regardless of whether or not I could survive with the amount of food and just make do and hope for rescue, I would probably go insane.

This should probably be one of those moments where I forsake all of my worldly goods and promise that I will live simply and meagerly. But that's not going to happen. Many people go off to the Peace Corps and Doctors Without Borders and projects like that, and while I think it is incredibly selfless and a wonderful, humane thing to do, I know I never could.

Is it because I'm selfish? Maybe a little. Would I like to help? Sure I would. But I don't think I will ever be able to make that sort of commitment. Leave my home for years at a time, never knowing when I'd be able to speak or see my family and friends, go to a strange land where I have no idea how I will be received...No. Of course it is great for those that can do that...but there are also a lot of families that just can't AFFORD to do that. I help my parents out with what I can, sometimes not financially, but by running errands and helping around the house. Without me, I doubt the family would collapse, but it definitely would not be running as smoothly as it is now.

It would be nice to go and help out in some relief effort somewhere, but I really don't know how feasible that may be in my life.

~~So, I've basically been writing this post all day, and something ALWAYS comes up, so I think I'm going to end it here before I completely forget about if for a week. Though I just remembered two things:

1. Today it made a week since I went to the interview and I haven't heard anything since that day. Another week to go and if I haven't heard anything by then, I will have to start applying for store jobs because...

2. I got denied for Unemployment AGAIN. And I have tons of credit cards to pay (well not tons, just quite a bit of money) and am seriously running low on cash. Ugh, the system sucks.

*Post title form Boys Like Girls' "Hero Heroine"


DAY 6
Hmm, is Harry Potter a superhero? Because if so, then mine would be Ron Weasley (ha). If not, when I was little, I would always be Storm when we would play X-Men during recess...

Day 7
The person that has the biggest impact on me would probably be my little sister.

I think she just inspires me to be a better person, a good role model, and rarely do I make big decisions without consulting her first.

The Hero Sings In This Scene//Day 5

Today is my sister's birthday, and it is still very bizarre. I have gorged myself on pizza, chips, breadsticks, and pasta, with cake to come later, so I'm sure I will gain like 40 lbs today. Trying to keep her and her friends from tearing up the house because they are insane, so no real post today. Something more lengthy (and book-related!) tomorrow- I promise! ((My internet died, but thank goodness Blogger had already saved this really newsworthy post already!))

Actually, in real book news, today I received two new books- The Perks of Being a Wallflower and It's Kind of a Funny Story. I am on a huge YA kick now, and I tend to really lean toward the angsty things anyway...because as much as I may want to think my teen years were like that, they totally weren't. Rereading all of the slambooks I had with Wendy made me see that while there were a few crazier events, high school life was fairly normal. We were all excessively dramatic, and many of us still are, but after being so far removed from that situation, I can clearly see how ridiculous some of the things we worried about were. When you are 23 and have virtually no money to your name yet still have to pay off your credit cards, have tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, are hoping you will get into a grad program, and searching for some sort of job in a market that is only getting bleaker (despite what experts might be saying...those idiots clearly already have jobs and don't care about those of us that have to fight for a shitty paying minimum wage job against hundreds of other applicants)...then you realize you have problems. And I know that my problems right now aren't even that bad, compared to much more terrible things. Back then, I worried about saying the wrong thing to a friend and us hatingeachotherforevernadohmygodwhatwillido, when, honestly, the friends I have now, most of us have been friends for many years. Years of us having awesome times, years of us getting into fights and not speaking to each other, years of us making up and being ok.

Because that is life. And for as much as they might be "YA" the protagonists are often dealing with some very adult issues. Sometimes I might get angry with them for a choice they make, but it always makes me wonder what I would do in that some position. Which is why I think more people need to actually READ some YA novels before pushing them away as childish or silly...

*Post title from Mayday Parade's "Black Cat"


Day 5
Again, I am cheating on the "places I have visited" picture...and am including a few of my favorite travels! And, in order, the locations are: St Thomas (Koki Beach), Bahamas (Atlantis Resort), St Maarten, Ohio (Downtown Columbus), and Texas (Kemah Boardwalk, near Houston)

Finish Me With A Touch//Day 4

Today I was actually quite productive, even if not for myself. I went over to Wendy's house and helped her go through a huge box of papers that went all the way back to MIDDLE SCHOOL! More than 10 yrs worth of papers and randomness and we went through it all. It was actually quite nice going down memory lane and seeing how weird and random we were in high school, even if I can't remember where a majority of that stuff originated from. It is a nice testament to our 8+ yr long friendship and all that we have gone through personally but always together.

Tomorrow is my little sister's birthday and we are having a little get-together. Which means pizza and cake (woo!!), though it is super bizarre to think she is turning 17 already!

**Post title from Danger Radio's "Keep It Up"


DAY 4

A habit I would like (no, LOVE) to break is my excessive worrying. I can go from 0 to 60 in nothing flat...literally from being completely calm, then I hear something or find something out, and I completely freak out. I think I need to be able to take things with more calm, even if they are scary or bad or whatever.

I'll Be Pacin On The Phone//Day 3

Woke up with an ear infection...lovely. All I want to do today is sleep, but it is my older sister's birthday so I figure we will be going to see her at some point today. Don't have much to say, but I guess my 3 posts yesterday will make up for it today :p

**Post title from Kings of Leon's (I love them! Even if that sounds awkward...) "The Runner"

DAY 3
So I'm going to cheat a bit here and post a few pics up of my friends because it is hard to choose just one (and I don't have just 1 pic with everyone in it!)

All Girls Allowed Organization

So I generally try to steer clear of politics and such on my blog/social networking sites, but this story really spoke to me. While reading this month's Glamour mag (see, I keep telling people it has great things in it!), I came across an editorial about women in China being forced into abortion. As we all know, the overpopulation in China is rampant and a huge issue. Each family is "allowed" to have one child...and that's it. While that may not seem like a big problem in a country like ours, where we can find cheap methods of birth control, we also know about the extreme poverty most Chinese live in. Wealthier families can pay a fee to skirt the law and have another child. Many a times, this will lead to gendercide, where female fetuses are aborted in the hopes of birthing a male child in the future. Orphanages are overrun with female children, or they are trafficked as child brides or slaves.

The story that really tugged at my heartstrings was about a mother in Xianyou County. Her and her husband had managed to save up the money for the fee to have their second child, when, all of a sudden, they revoked her agreement. She either had to abort her pregnancy or they would destroy their home. She was 8 months pregnant. Knowing she could not allow her family to become destitute, she made the difficult decision to end the pregnancy, even saying she could "clearly feel her baby was struggling" (Horrifying!).

Even before I finished reading the article, I wondered what I could do. There had to be somewhere we could donate money or supplies, or someone we can write to force a change in what is so clearly a violation in womens rights. More than 13 million abortions take place in China every year, a staggering number that is up 44% from 2003.

Here at the All Girls Allowed website, they have a great section for different ways you can Mobilize for change. You can sign a petition that will be presented to Congress. You can even print out and sign your pledge, then take a picture of yourself with it and email it to the site. You can print out cute milk cartons with information about the organization and collect change. For those with a bit more to spare, you can donate $20 a month that will be given to a Chinese field worker to help provide for their baby (and you get updates on the baby's growth and development). Then they have specific things that different professionals and groups can do to help the cause.

I've already signed the online petition (and just as soon as my printer is working I will print it out and send my picture in and post it here1). I think I will try to showcase a different charity every once in awhile (maybe 2 a month?), and while it may be a bit biased because they will be causes that I am interested in, it is still nice to get those out there.

It Only Really Matters How We Stand Our Ground//Day 2

Ahhhh, I just love days where you sleep in until a terribly late hour. Thankfully, I don't have anything on the docket to do today, except read and straighten my hair (though I think it may be Halloween decoration day around the house, which always ends up meaning big closet clean-up day), so it's not a big problem. Tomorrow is my older sister's birthday, so I figure we will do something, then Monday I may have to take my grandma to the doctor (no fun) and meet up with Wendy for a late lunch, and then Tuesday is Mini's birthday! After that...the week is basically open, though Anthony will be in town that weekend for his birthday, so I will have to see if I have any money for that.

*Post title from Streetlight Manifesto's "If and When We Rise Again"


DAY 2
Well the "Sweet Lady A" name...there really is no meaning behind that. I just wanted a cute little name for Twitter and Lady A was already taken so I had to pop things in front of it!

As for the name of my blog "Put It In Writing," I figured I needed something a little more PG but that still got the same message across, and what better name could there be for a writing/semi-personal blog? The little description/tag line kinda just came to me because both in life and in novels, we all have to start somewhere.

30 Day Challenge//Day 1

Yes, it is a little silly and facetious,but it is lighthearted and fun and sometimes we need a little bit of that in our lives. So, today I bring you the 30 Day Challenge! It's very simple...each day, new challenge. Some are posting pictures, some are easy questions, and some are soul-searching tasks. I may not actually post every day (but I hope to keep up with my blogging even if it's boring stuff but now that I have more time I will be able to do more book reviews or post about random topics), but I will keep up with it.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your [Blogger] name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about [Blogger] and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?


**So even though it is technically already Saturday, I will consider it Friday night until I go to sleep, thus Day 1= October 8 :p


DAY 1


1. My birthday is 080387 (writing it that way makes me feel like a spy!)
2. My favorite color is purple
3. Favorite flavor is orange
4. I love tulips and peonies
5. I wish I could live in the Harry Potter books
6. I could eat red velvet for the rest of my life and be happy
7. I am addicted/attached to my BlackBerry
8. My texts are grammatically correct
9. I will answer my phone at ANY time
10. I always have a witty and snappy comeback
11. I wish I had a British accent
12. I hate red wine
13. I want to run a marathon some day.
14. My fave person is my little sister Monica
15. I choose to banish negativity from my life and just be happy :)

It Must Be Rearranged

Boring stuff first, I finished my abstracts for my writing samples, so now it's just waiting. Waiting for the rest of my rec letters, transcripts, and money to come in so I can finish up the applications and mail them off. But that means I now have even MORE free time. I heard from my family friend that the boss guy yesterday was impressed by my professionalism and liked me, so that is a good sign! Still have to wait, but that made me feel momentarily happy.

Because I am kind of lazy (ok...VERY lazy) and love answering questions about myself (and really don't have too much to write about today), I figured I'd add in this survey I found on Tumblr (a website I will NEVER understand). ((Can I add in any more parenthe(())ses?))(

**Post title from Maroon 5's "Goodnight Goodnight"


MUSIC (GOD’S GIFT TO OUR EARS)
-What is your favorite band? Give us some lines from your favorite song!
The Hives He didn't know back then/That they liked him that way/He never did what they told him/He never did what they said/Tried to tell him roll over again and this is what you get

-Do you like one particular genre? Which?
Not really. I am pretty open to most, but country does get on my nerves sometimes

-Can you tolerate others' music tastes other than your own?
Yes, I'm not 12.

-Can you name me at least 5 songs you hate? List them!
I don't really know if I hate any songs as much as I get super tired of hearing them on the radio every 19 milliseconds

-Give me a good song to dance to!
I've been dancing a lot to "Rap Song" by T-Pain


SLEEPING (SOMETHING WE NEVER GET ENOUGH OF)
-When do you usually go?
Unfortunately around 3-4 am :(

-Just for tonight, who do you want sleeping with you?
Hmm maybe Ryan Reynolds, but he's married, so I will settle for Chris Evans

-How often do you change your sheets?
Probably every 2-3 weeks or when I remember

-Currently, is your bed made?
Yes


HANDBAGS (WHAT YOU CHOSE TO CARRY YOUR CRAP IN)
-Describe the bag you’re using at this moment!
It's a big black bag from Urban Outfitters with all the shit I took to the interview still in it

-Are you obsessed with brand names?
Noooo

-What kind of bag would you love to have?
There was this killer Gucci tote I saw...but its like $2k so that'll never happen

-Your favorite handbag material? (Leather, nylon, cotton, etc)!
Leather

-What is the most you’ve spent on a bag?
For myself, probably $60


HAIR STRAIGHTENERS (THE STRAIGHTER THE BETTER)
What brand straightener do you use?
Chi

How often do you straighten your hair?
Once a week, two if I need to be spiffy

Have you ever tried a CHI straightener?
D'uh.

Tell us about one bad incident you had with a straightener!
I burned my forehead with it once. It was great.

How long does it take you to transform your hair from frizzy to paper straight?
15 minutes


YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENTS (HOME SWEET HOME)
What kind of building do you live in?
House

How are the people in your home treating you?
Generally well

Any privacy issues? Tell me!
Not really

What do you see outside the window?
Cars

Ever think about moving?
Yes, and if I ever get a job, that may actually happen


FOOD (LIVE TO EAT)
What did you eat today?
Burger, fries, blooming onion thing

What was the last place you ate out at?
Outback Steakhouse because I am a nice sister

Do you enjoy authentic ethnic food?
Yes

Who is the best cook you know?
Probably my cousin

Tell me a funny/bad cooking disaster you’ve experienced!
One time I reallllly didn't feel like cooking and undercooked the meat but was so angry I ate it anyway. It was terrible and I had to go to Jack in the Box lol


CELL (THE GADGET OF THE CENTURY)
What was your last incoming call about?
Stupid credit card company (exciting)

Can you change the covers on your cell?
Yes

How long have you had your particular model?
Since December

What service provider are you with?
TMobile

When you can’t have your phone on ring, do you put it on vibrate or silent?
Vibrate, usually


ALCOHOL (SOMETHING TO MAKE US STRONG)
Are you a heavy drinker?
Nah

What is your favorite kind of liquor?
Grey Goose. Not vodka, but GG

Shots or mixed drinks?
Mixed. Shots are for celebrations

Favorite combination?
Sweet & Sour mix + virtually anything

If you had a drink in your hand and good friends all around, what would you make a toast to?
Life

Sink Into My Body While I'm Drifting

The interview actually went well! The job sounds really interesting, possibly the kind of job I could make into a career...though it does seem challenging. A lot of hard work but that is what it is like to be an adult, yes? Of course, now I have to wait 2 weeks while they interview more people and I sit on the edge of my seat worried about whether or not I got it.

I just set my expectations too high about 900% of the time. I am pretty easily excited, so I get an idea or project in mind and go nuts with it, and lots of times it can't happen. Exhibit 1: Utah trip. Exhibit 2: Grad School. And, of course, Exhibit 3: This job. I like to think that I am passionate about things and my enthusiasm transfers over well, but when things don't turn out my way, I am, of course, disappointed. I'm trying to keep my excitement at bay regarding this job, which is why I will still apply to other jobs and keep chugging along on my grad school application plans.

I am probably going to take today off from that, but since I just have to work on a summary of my writing sample (and figure out whether I can just send in my thesis everywhere), it shouldn't take too long, probably a day or two. Plus, I am waaaaay ahead of schedule since I didn't expect to get to the writing samples for another week and a half or 2. But just in case I don't get the job, I still have something going on in my life. And if I get the job, then I can figure things out from there. I guess it's all about having a series of plans and backup plans and extra backup plans and solutions to the backup plans. And then some more backup plans.

I'm almost like a spy. Except virtually nothing like one.


*Post title from Justin Nozuka's "I'm in Peace" (I LOVE him! And Kevin Bacon is his uncle, for serious!)

WorryWorryRantNervesUghhhhh

I'm pretty sure that title about sums it up.

No? Oh ok...

So, tomorrow is the big job interview for what could potentially be my first big-girl job (Texas job was in a call center..no challenge really, and Census job was temporary, if a bit crazy). Besides all the nerves I have as to whether I could even DO the job well (honestly, I freaked out about using Outlook since I've been working on Mac OS for the past 3+ years, and that is something I could probably pick up in 15 minutes), the interview is making me nervous too. I don't really know the department, what my actual job entails, how technical/scientific it will get and whether they will make me take a typing test and all that garbage.

The job itself has me nervous. I hate going into things blindly, not being the best at it, so being on a learning curve will be difficult. Getting myself back into a routine will be another challenge, but it'll be nice to actually feel useful and earn money. However, the job seems like it will be very time-consuming. I figure I will still be working 40 hrs a week, but it doesn't seem like the kind of place where I could take time off or work less hours and go to school. Part-time school may still be an option, depending on the two schedules, but school is still at the top of my list. PT is not a big deal, but I may at some point stop working and study full-time or do a graduate assistantship. But they'd want someone that can stay in the job "long term," not just 2 years and slip off...which is what I was thinking of doing. I don't think that is the kind of job I'd want to have forever or the kind of place I'd want to work forever. I have other plans that I'd like to follow through on, so it just kinda sucks that from the get-go that will be an issue.

Plus, since I got the interview through a connection, I obviously wouldn't want to leave on bad terms and hurt her chances and connections either. But I also need a job, and I figure any professional would be understanding about moving on to bigger and better things because I'm sure if they were offered the opportunity, they'd take it too.

Granted, a lot of this is just wishful thinking because I haven't even HAD the interview yet, so I may not even get the job, or I may have to wait awhile before I hear back or start.

All in all, WorryWorryRantNervesUghhhhh. Make more sense now?

**Figured I would edit this and say that I know I should be grateful that I even have a job interview, which I am. I've been applying to jobs for nearly 2 months and this is among the first that have gotten back to me, and it is for a great position. And I know everyone has to make sacrifices and sometimes suffer through something to get something better. I just don't like how I feel like I am chained down there and it'd be terrible if I left to go to school. I guess my excitement has run out for this and the nerves and paranoia are taking over. Boo.

Yay!

Exciting news! I have a killer interview on Thursday at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine for a Project Manager/Assistant position in the Assistant Dean's office. Seems interesting and like it pays well. May have to push my grad school ideas to Part-time or push them another year or so, but it seems like an awesome opportunity and a very good way to gain experience and network. Either way I'm very excited/nervous but hopefully it all turns out well.

On the school news, I started some of the applications, have finished all the personal statements, and just need to edit the last statement. So all in all, things are going pretty well!

I Like How...

...after I think I don't have to write an English personal statement, that it all just hits me. Thankfully, I decided to just write it all anyway, and then I discovered that I did indeed have to write one. So at least that is out of the way and I can edit it tomorrow or Wednesday and move on to the writing samples.

Hooray!

It's funny how writing 2 pages will make someone so happy, but they are basically the most important 2 pages of my life thus far.

If I do get into the English PhD program, though, I'd have to spend the 4 months before I start it re-reading all the poetry and criticisms to get myself back into it. Probably would have to do the same for the History programs as well, actually.

Don't Turn This Around

So I have finished all but one of my personal statements, editing and all. Of course, the one that I have left is for the English PhD program, and even though this is what I spent my ENTIRE time during my undergraduate career doing, it is by far the most difficult. The website doesn't actually say anything about a personal statement, but I figured it couldn't hurt to write one. I have the outline all completed, figured it would be about 3 pages long.

Now all I have to do is start it.

And I can't.

I can't start ANY of the paragraphs. I tried to skip over the intro, figuring I'd write that later or after I finished the actual statement, but I can't write anything. Not about my thesis/interest in Romanticism. Not why I'd be a good fit/what professors I want to work with. Not my future goals. I obviously can't write the conclusion without knowing what the hell I'm going to write about, so it's no good. My original plan was to write the statement today, take a break tomorrow, and edit on Wednesday, then move on to the writing samples on Thursday, and spend a week and a half or so on those. Meaning by about mid-to-end of the month, I'd be able to start filling out applications and wondering where I will get another $250 from for fees.

I could, obviously, just relax today and write tomorrow, but it feels like a useless day if all I did was edit 4 statements and write a bo-bo outline. I didn't think it'd be this tough, especially since it follows the same format that my History statements do. So it's more about tailoring that more toward literature...so a combination of my History and Library Science statements. Ugh. This blows.

And all the while, I am hoping that I don't have to do major rewrites of my thesis to turn in as a writing sample. Because if I have to compress 33 pages into 15...even 10...I really don't know what I would do. And I just remembered I have to write an abstract to go along with my writing sample so they know what is going on there.

Oh life.


**Post title from Butch Walker's "Best Thing You Never Had"

"Censorship offends me" Anonymous

Alas, Banned Books Week has come to a close today. Hopefully, my extreme blogging motivation continues though, since it generally motivates me to write and analyze and edit and all sorts of literary type things, which is why I am about 2/3 of the way (possibly even 3/4) complete with my grad school applications! In reality, I only have 2 more personal statements to write, a cover letter, and a quasi cover/personal statement for a graduate assistantship, type up my writing samples, and actually doing the applications. Next week will be dedicated to editing- my personal statements and the writing samples. It looks like I will be able to start sending things at some point in November (hoping I actually have the money after the $220 I spent today on GRE scores and transcripts). Hopefully I can finish the Library Science personal statement today, fix up the cover letter and at least start the grad. asst statement today. Tomorrow is most likely a break day since its the big family party, but since I have to take my laptop for picture viewing, I may get a bit of time to write (or edit).

It just feels so real this time around, and that is very exciting. I guess the one good thing about being unemployed is that I have had a great deal of time (in fact, nothing but time) to work on this. And even if I get a job sometime soon, the most difficult parts are now complete, and all that is left is the tedious, menial filling out of information, which can be done at any point.

But, without further adieu...



Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

I am pretty sure everyone knew it would culminate with this. I was surprised to see that this was #1 on this decade's most frequently challenged books, mainly because I LOVE Harry Potter and JK Rowling. I'm bummed I couldn't catch her interview with Oprah yesterday, but I'm very happy that she hasn't completely ruled out writing more Harry books in the future. Yes, we may have to wait a long while for them, but that is much more hopeful than her saying she was done with them forever and ever. But, after spending so much of her life with Harry, creating an entire world for him, a world that helped her so much, I don't think she could ever be through with him. Many writers consider their works to be like children or family, but Harry is as much a flesh-and-blood child for Jo as her three beautiful ones are.

Yes, it is tentatively a book about witchcraft. But only in so much that Harry and the others are wizards. Yes, it talks about spells and potions and other magical type things, but it isn't a how-to guide. This story is about loss, friendship, understanding, justice, prejudice, love, the importance of education, growing up-- basically LIFE. Harry's problems are everyone's problems, and that is why this series is appealing to more than just the "typical" child and YA audience. It is my opinion that any good child and YA book NEEDS to appeal to adults because, after all, we were once children and always retain a bit of that innocence.

There are so many undertones in this series- political, social, economic, feminist, everything- that it opens itself up to true scholarly critique and analysis. Yes, I am one of those Harry Potter nerds, and No, I will never have enough time, space or brain waves to adequately describe how important HP is to my life and to the literary world as a whole. But I do know one thing: if you haven't read Harry Potter, you are truly missing out.

"Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them" Mark Twain

I've had a looooooong day and I almost didn't post today, but I scrounged up some extra motivation! I went over to my old university, UMiami, to pick up some rec letters (although it took me 4x the usual amount of time to get there and I almost had to turn around because we thought my dog was lost...she just ended up being outside by the garbage can haha), but it made me really itch to be back in school. I never realized how amazing the campus was, and how great the little interactions between everyone are, and I REALLLLLY hope I can get in somewhere (and there would be awesome!). I, of course, spent more many that I should have (which should have been $0), but I ended up getting my sister's birthday present and 2 tshirts for myself for the Homecoming Game next month!

I made it home for like 20 minutes (where I had to cancel my trip to SLC, boooo, but I need that money for my grad school things), and then I had to head out again to pick up my nephews from school and hang out with them for a bit. Apparently, the trees have not gotten the message that it is now fall, so they need to start dying and STOP producing pollen, so I managed to get super sick in this time period, and I made it home feeling like bubonic plague. Filed for unemployment, made a list of application things I still need to work on, and contemplated the Florida teacher certification website. It's only 9 PM and I am already ready to fall asleep (though that may have something to do with all the medicine I took).

Tomorrow is thankfully a very relaxing day. I must go to FedEx/Kinkos at some point for copies and to mail out some things, then it's writing my Library Science personal statements, finishing up the other personal statement (if the freakin website would work!), and reading. Grandparents' birthday this weekend, so family barbeque on Sunday. On the agenda for next week is to start fixing up my writing samples, then editing my personal statements. Hopefully the week after that I can order the GRE scores and transcripts, and then all that would be left is to actually fill out the applications and pay the application fees. Oh and make 3249839482309483290 copies and mail them out.

And then wait.

And wait.

And be nervous/scared/excited/depressed/worried-about-money/contemplative/nostalgic and 100 other emotions until I start getting acceptance/rejection letters in March.

And you all will be along for the ride...exciting! (Or not, haha)



Ordinary People by Judith Guest

I will admit- I actually saw the movie before I read the novel. But the movie is FANTASTIC (really, check it out- it has Donald Sutherland, Timothy Hutton, Mary Tyler Moore, and many others, and it was the first movie Robert Redford directed. It also won the Oscar for Best Picture that year) and is pretty faithful to the book. In fact, I think the movie actually has a bit more development for some of the characters than the book did.

I like that this novel, although about an affluent family, is still able to portray them as "ordinary people". After all, we all react the same after traumatic events, regardless of status, race, and wealth. The oldest Jarrett son, Buck, had been killed in a freak boating accident about a year before the novel opens. 6 Months later, Conrad (Buck's brother that was with him on the boat that day) attempts suicide after battling extreme guilt and depression over his big brother's death. He spent nearly 8 months in a psych hospital and is still shaky at the beginning of the novel (and very understandably so).

The mom, Beth, is a nutbag. She barely talks about Buck and his death and is so Type A I had to put the book down at times because she was stressing ME out. I actually appreciated the dad, Calvin, because he pushed Conrad into seeing Dr. Berger (the bestest psychiatrist in all the world and I wish I could find someone like him!) and then started meeting with the doctor himself. Calvin is going through a crazy midlife crisis (he has a sad background too, growing up in an orphanage after his mother died) , and even though **SPOILER ALERT** Beth leaves him at the end, he and Conrad finally have a strong father-son bond.

And I love Conrad and my heart breaks for him so bad because I know what it feels like to feel so low, so I am happy that he seems like he is on a good path at the end. The story is so steeped in loss at the beginning, not only the physical loss of Buck, but the identity and innocence losses of Calvin and Conrad, respectively, that you are rooting for them from Page 1. It is so easy to feel their emotions because we all have had a traumatic incident that has changed us so completely, even without us wanting it to or even realizing it. The kind of event that makes you change your future and your goals and your beliefs. And sometimes it is for the worst, but sometimes, it is for the better. It allows you to step outside of yourself to really become who you want to be. The closest to a fresh start we are allowed in life.

And since tomorrow is the last day of Banned Books Week, I will end it with the most challenged book of this decade ;)